#30Layers30Days – Day 27: “Splinter”

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What is the annoying splinter in your life that you need to remove?
How would your life be different if you removed that distraction?

The Insecure Energy of others is a prickly little sucker!!!

Having grown so much as a woman and as an individual, it’s almost as if my entire spirit is just urked by the insecure energy not only of myself, but especially from others. I grew up insecure, and so I know first hand how it can control your life and keep your from experiencing all the joy and success that is intended for us all!

And so when others try to impress their insecurities onto me, it’s like i’m being dragged in the mud…Stuck!! The tendencies of my past attempts to reintroduce itself into my present – this inclination to silence my thoughts and feelings, to ignore my wants and desires…

My chest literally becomes pained, sickened by a nagging need to prove their insecurities wrong.

My need to please suffocates my potential and my desire to be free and live authentically as me!!!

I just want to finally breathe…to be myself…

To live the life I know I deserve to experience, and experience as the beautifully awkward, friendly, introverted, smart-phone in hand woman that God created me to be.

Tweezers please!!!

 

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#30Layers30Days – Day 26: Quality vs. Quantity

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Do you prefer to take life slowly, leaving space and unplanned time to breathe and process everything?  Do you prefer small, intimate gatherings?
or
Do you prefer to keep yourself busy with every moment scheduled, always on the go, energized by the hustle and flow?  Do you prefer to be surrounded by lots of people?

As an introvert – I would definitely have to say that I prefer to take my time with things and with people. “I’ll take small and intimate gatherings for #The Max please Alex” 😀 

I am one who needs my time alone. I need to process my thoughts and desires before taking action. I need to experience each and every breath of anxiety as it crawls down my chest cavity and creeps back out into the atmosphere that surrounds me…changed!!

It’s true, I feel everything so deeply. Love, anger, joy, sorrow – No matter the emotion, I can taste it. I savor the sweet delight happiness brings to my soul and I endure the sour bitterness that sadness sears onto my heart.

Although some may prefer to discard the distaste pain can bring, my eyes seem to focus in on the resultant strength that it brings. Yes, at times there is so much discomfort. There are trips and falls, bumps and bruises …so many scabs along the way. But the Quality of growth is unmatched! The transformation I experience is so worth it. I look back and marvel over my ability to overcome…and learn…and grow…and change…and mature…and do so many things because surrendered to my timeline!

I may have to marinate on things a little longer, make a few mistakes, take a walk around the world, get knocked down, get up, change my mind until I know in my heart that it’s right, and then simmer a little longer just to make sure – & that’s every bit of okay!

Listen, I am not ashamed of all that makes me woman!

Until next year my Loves 😉

– S.

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#30Layers30Days – Day 25: “Sleeping Giant”

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I know I am unique and my voice matters but _____________ makes it hard for me to own my bigness.

Comparing myself to others sometimes makes it hard for me to own my bigness! When I read their books. When I see their success. When I admire their bold spirit. When I observe their tenacity – I begin to question my own. I begin to doubt my talent. My mind begins to highlight my inadequacies without cause.

I become fearful of success, weary of shining a light to my layers.

I become a Sleeping Giant!

silent ball of fire. Resistant to change. Withholding my magic from a world that could indeed connect to my voice.

I know that I am unique and my voice matters, but sometimes I give false thoughts the power to dim my star…

 

What thoughts come into your mind that make you want to hold back your light?

 

image source : Tee Shot Me

#30Layers30Days – Day 24: “Nice to Know”

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What ideas/concepts/beliefs do you have that you find it hard to act on?  What advice do you give to others that you have trouble taking for yourself?  In what ways do you know better, but find it hard to do better?

Be bold! Be Intentional! Be committed to living your life for yourself – and no one else!

To act on the desires of your heart, no matter what the crowds may whisper into your mind. To be 110% honest with yourself and those that you love the strongest. Yes, feelings may get hurt. Hearts may get broken. But living in ones truth is the ultimate freedom for ones soul. Continue reading

#30Layers30Days – Day 23: “Three Blind Lies”

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Name three things you have felt the need to hide or lie about in the past that you’ve had to overcome in order to move forward

I look back and accept the fact that I did my best to hide the insecure girl of my youth. I was ashamed of her. Ashamed of some of the choices she made in order to feel good about herself. When in reality, all she wanted was to feel and be loved to her core.

There were times where I lied to myself… Continue reading

#30Layers30Days – Day 22 “If They Knew”

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If they knew __________ , they would know why I __________.
(Interpret this however you like.)

They see me now. They see the ‘surface’ beauty and successes that adorn the path laid for me. They may see my smile or read congratulatory statuses that grace my page, but they don’t really see me.

They don’t see the tests and trials that were chosen for me. The bad choices I’ve had to endure, the key lessons I’ve learned, the lies seared onto the skin of my soul. They don’t see my childhood, nor the intimates of my adolescence. They don’t see all that has been monumental in shaping the I Am that stands strong before you this day.

If they knew how insecure I was back then, they would know why my new found confidence means so much to me today.

If you only knew…

 

image source: selfie

#30Layers30Days – Day 21: “Rewards”

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What do you do when you are in need of attention or acknowledgement from someone outside of yourself?  Yes, we all know that we need to look within, but we’re human and sometimes we want attention.  Sometimes we get a little needy.  So what do you do?

If you didn’t already know, then I’m here to tell you. Falling in love with yourself does something to you. It’s like a light bulb goes off within the gutt of your soul, reminding you that you are worthy of experiencing all the finer things in life. You are assured of your value. Increasingly content with you story. Proud of your struggle.

I admit, I am prone to ignoring my innate desire for more; more time, more attention, more affirmation, more affection, more energy, more love… Continue reading