#30Layers30Days – Day 13: “Irregular”

Naturally-curly-hair-for-black-women

Many of us have developed the habit of not expressing ourselves creatively for fear that we won’t be understood.  We harbor feelings of being weird, irregular — even unacceptable.

Our inner critics reject us before anyone else can. So the question is, what does your mind say when you are beating yourself up?  What does your mind tell you is ‘wrong’ with you?

Whatever your answer is, keep in mind that any ‘irregularities’ you perceive in yourself are just preferences you have that may be outside of the ‘norm’ — whatever that is. They are part of what makes you, you.  These things will actually make you more powerful if you learn to love, understand and accept them.

Sometimes I resent the fact that those close to me see Sonia as this image of perfection. I feel like some hold high expectations of me, without seeing that I just want to be “normal”. Yes, I want to be seen & heard. But like everyone else, I’m no saint. Sonia has bad days too…

The critic in my mind occasionally whispers tell tales to my subconscious soul. She might say that I’m not good enough. She may scream that I’m too timid. She wonders why I wasn’t just a little bit stronger. A little more willing to enjoy my own love. She’s been stunned…staggered by the times where I’ve been hesitant to speak my mind and stand up for the life I deserve. She often questions whether my choices are sometimes made to satisfy another’s ego. She sometimes says I’m lazy and could make a stronger effort towards realizing my dreams.

Sometimes, I have to make a strong effort to calm my mind and just say sshhhhhhh. Not so!

Being the person I desire to be in my heart is a very intentional process. I will continue to fight the naysaying voices that spit lies into my spirit. I will continue to create life.

Are you saying “NO” to your inner critic?

 

P.S. I apologize for getting so behind in posting my responses for the #30Layers30Days Self-Discovery Challenge . Life can get hectic outta’ no where…LOL!! Do you all forgive me?? 🙂

 

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