I’ve Been Soul-Searching Throughout my Twenties

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Here is my latest on From A Wildflower

Throughout my twenties, I have truly undergone a striking amount of soul-searching. I have a little over two years left in my twenties, and I can only hope that as I cross over into another stage of adulthood, that I become a wiser, well-adjusted woman.

I have been in search of “who I am” since my pre-teen years, but especially throughout my twenties. I’ve often felt like I was a step behind the crowd: not fashion forward enough, not smart enough, not career-established enough, not spiritual enough. Time and time again I’ve been prone to setting an imaginary bar used to measure myself to those around me.

This year, I’ve come to the conclusion that all these years, I’ve been putting unnecessary pressure on myself. We as people are unique in so many ways, from the ways we’re raised, to our personalities, to how we maneuver through the inevitable tests and trials on our journeys towards living the God-intended life.

Yes, it is important that I have mentors to help guide and inspire me to be the best me that I can be. But I shouldn’t limit myself by comparing my life to others. When I compare, it’s like I’m saying I’m not good enough or I’m a mistake, but this is far from truth.

On my journey to self-love, I’m learning to say “I am good enough” while recognizing that as I grow older, I must also grow wiser. I mustn’t be afraid of my all-encompassing self! Whether it’s the ugly details of my past, the pitfalls and joys of my present or the unknown yet delightful possibilities in my future – I embrace all of me!

As I get closer to my thirties, I can see more clearly that I have my own path to travel with my own way of getting to my desired destination. I can’t rush what is meant for me in God’s timing. What is destined for someone else may not necessarily be intended for me – and I need to accept that.

There was a time when I was stuck –

Overwhelmed with emotion
Consumed
Immovable
Glued to the despondency
Unable to detach myself from it

Confused
Alone
Attempting to make sense of my present
While seemingly incapable of disengaging myself from the past

Searching for comfort
Understanding
Love

But now, I am free. I have found a new love for myself and for my God. I wouldn’t say that I’ve completed my “soul-searching extravaganza”, but I’m optimistic. With each passing day, I become more in tune with who I am – one with the contents of my mind, my emotions, my will and God’s purpose for my life.

I am grateful for my journey. Just because I may not have accomplished all that I thought I would at 27 or just because I see that others have at 22 what I would love to have now, doesn’t make me any less worthy of being blessed. I just need to keep puttin’ in work.

My time will come and until then, I’ll just keep working on me – preparing myself for all the greatness I know my future holds!

Until Next Time Loves

-S.

 

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4 thoughts on “I’ve Been Soul-Searching Throughout my Twenties

  1. Its reassuring to know that you are not alone in your journey. I feel like you read my mind with this post (something you tend to do a lot LOL). This is just confirmation in the beauty and necessity of sharing your story. This is so relevant. I wish you continued success on your journey.

    • Thank you so much Latrisha!!! I tell you, the best part in sharing my story is reading comments like yours 🙂 It reminds me that we’re not alone – just like you mention. I totally appreciate your kind words 🙂

  2. I am currently on this journey. I am 25 years old and I must say its been a trying year. This journey can get scary at times but its a beautiful thing! Keep your head up beautiful and continue to be at your best on this journey!

    • Hi Amanda – You’re so right, our journey’s are in fact beautiful!!! I think that is one of the greatest lesson’s I have learned in my twenties. Although we may go through similar tests and trials, our individual paths are so unique. The way we learn, grow, mature…it’s like a piece of art painted by the ink of our souls. I pray that as you grow and mature, that you come into the woman you were created to be & more 🙂
      XO

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