You See My Flaws, I See My Fortune

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I think the most important thing in life is self-love, because if you don’t have self-love, and respect for everything about your own body, your own soul, your own capsule, then how can you have an authentic relationship with anyone else? – Shailene Woodley 

I want to look in the mirror and feel great love and respect for the woman staring back into my brown eyes. All the days of my youth, I questioned my beauty. Value and self-worth were concepts foreign to my being.

Although I couldn’t see it at the time, I was always attempting to emulate the women I idolized. I wanted to exude their confidence, to depict their beauty. I wanted to capture the essence of what made these women beautiful in my Princess Jasmine, doe like eyes.

Whether it was courage, charisma, charm or confidence, I wanted to BE that Beauty other women so effortlessly displayed. Unable to fully embrace the unique and quirky characteristics that made me beautiful in my own way, I began my journey of blending in with the masquerade. I attempted to cover my face with the glitz and glam in an effort to mask who I really was.

It got to the point where in reality I didn’t really know who I was. Until this recent season of my life, I never really took the time to get to know the I AM lurking beneath the surface of my soul. My main concern was figuring out who the people wanted to see, what they wanted to experience and trying my best to be that person. Trying to illustrate that persona of excellence in every sense of the word. (Even though in my reality, I was failing, miserably)

No matter how hard I tried to be what I thought the people wanted, it didn’t make me happy. Even with the little attention or affection I did receive, I was still empty. Hollow. I was Incomplete!

Now what was my motivation for living a lie?  I guess you can say it was fear; fear that the world would not accept God’s creative version of who I really was. I Know, I Know!!! How dare I shamefully hide from Gods masterpiece of a creation? He surely makes no mistakes!

Well, I ran from myself because I wanted to be society’s depiction of beauty and success, and I believed that my greatest chances of “arriving” would lie in my ability to portray perfection (without really even knowing what comprised “perfection” to begin with).

All I knew (or thought I knew) was that I was not it. And I wanted it all; beauty, brains, success, to be accepted by my peers and sought after by my potential life long partner.

But as the years have flown by, I have learned from my mistakes and naive views regarding my worth and my purpose. Life has molded and shaped me into the woman I am today, and I am learning to fall in love with her all over again. I’ve been given another chance to experience true love at it’s finest; Self-love, & I am so grateful.

Today, I now know that I Am Beautiful, just as I Am! My quirkiness is what makes my skin glow. My awkwardness is my diamond plated white gold accessory. My goofy sense of humor causes my smile to shine in the darkness. My stretch marks are a reminder of my blessing; my ability to create life. The curly kinks in my crown offer me a sexy edge and versatility at its finest. What some may consider my flaws are in fact my fortune!

Today, I am one step closer to realizing my divine potential and purpose in life. And that’s alright with me!

Ladies, embrace your “flaws” with open arms. Be grateful for your freckles. Appreciate your midnight skin. Thank God for your awkward sense of humor. Introversion isn’t the end of the world. So what if you’re taller than the average. Its time to intimately caress all the unique parts of you that make you, YOU!!! Get to know who you are and don’t be afraid of the reflection that may be staring back at you. Get to know your shadow. Speak life to her!! No more self-sabotaging talk, putting ourselves down and complaining when things don’t work out the way we planned. CHOOSE to be the woman that you admire! The treasure within is just waiting to be discovered and shared with the world. 

All My Heart 🙂

– S.

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