‘Forgive’, They Say

How to forgive when you hurt too much

“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” – Louis B. Smedes

‘Forgive’,  they say. Trust me, forgiveness is easier said than done. How can she forgive when betrayal is seared on the four chambers of her heart. When confusion and resentment attempts to hover atop her precious mental space, like dense fog, clouding her judgement.  Restricting her vision, her ability to see past the pain.

Stuck in time, she can’t help but re-play the image of disappointment over and over again in her mind.  Rewind. Pause. Play. Fast-forward. Rewind again. Play. Like clock work, she rattles with her own emotions. Seemingly incapable of hitting the re-start button and recording a new song, she resultantly brings new pain upon herself.

‘Forgive’, they say. But they don’t understand!! Wait, but maybe they do…

Over time she begins to realize forgiveness isn’t for that person, but it’s for her. Forgiveness doesn’t mean acceptance or the excusing of ones actions against you. Rather, it’s a gift to oneself. It’s a release. Releasing oneself from the bondage, so that healing and restoration can take place. It’s ones willingness to leave the past where it belongs, while having hope in the possibilities on the horizon.

‘Forgive’, they say. And so she will. She must!!! She is now one step closer to coming into the Queen that she was created to be!


If you are having trouble forgiving someone in your present or your past, please remind yourself that forgiveness does not necessarily suggest that you endorse someones wrong actions, or that you’re going to forget all together. But it does mean that you cant use the seemingly unforgivable against another. Even if the person who needs forgiveness is yourself. Forgiveness is a necessary action which enables you to begin the healing process. It allows you to move on, no longer allowing your heart to be imprisoned behind steel bars of pain, disappointment or even shame. Its time to stop being controlled by the agony. So, release your heart, Forgive & begin your journey to complete healing and restoration! 

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